We’ve all experienced the sensation of being engulfed in a bog, suffocating in its grip. You feel enmeshed, ineffectual, and befuddled. You long to advance, it’s mandatory. But you are incapable.
Soon, that sense transforms into distress, anxiety, and overwhelm. But what if—just what if—our perception of being trapped is the problem, not the feeling itself?
There are intervals when I feel “stuck.” However, upon closer examination, I realize that “being stuck” is a term I use to define a natural phase of life. It is when very little happens. The angst arises when I think it should be different. I compel myself to work, to generate concepts, and to achieve things.
When my efforts are fruitless, I refer to it as being stuck. What does being stuck mean except how I view life?
As I write this, I’ve been in a rut for the previous few months. The difference is that I struggle less now because I am starting to accept it.
You feel stuck when you want to be something you are not. When you believe life should be different from what it is.
I know I’m trying to coerce myself into doing something when words like ”should,” ”have to,” and ”must” enter my mind.
When I calm down and surrender to this tranquil phase in my life, things seem to be fine. I see that I am powerless over life. I can only notice what life offers me.
Being stuck is like quicksand. The more you attempt to escape, the further you descend.
My brain desires to push, dominate, and manage. It comes from insecurity. I want to be secure, cherished, and remarkable. I think that if I could control life, everything would be alright.
Things start to change only when I confront reality. Here are three things I do (but sometimes cannot)
Give up
When you’re stuck, submit to being stuck.
I observe the thoughts and emotions within me that indicate that I’m stuck and that something is wrong.
If I stay completely present in this moment, there is no being stuck. It’s just a label for a situation that I have invented based on what I think my life should be like.
When I realize what is happening, I breathe a deep sigh of relief.
However, that does not imply that the feelings vanish. I might still feel anxious, but it no longer has a stranglehold on me.
I can see the play of thoughts. I can surrender to whatever arises.
And I still resist at times, but I am improving at allowing it to be what it is. I am getting better at enjoying being stuck.
The amusing thing is that when we enjoy being stuck, we are no longer stuck because being stuck was all in our heads.
Enjoy Myself (or at least try)
There is always something you are inclined to do during these periods. You are not completely stuck, not in every area of your life.
Currently, I’m reading. I’m playing with my doggies, talking to my child. I’m watching films and TV shows.
And once in a while, I write articles like this, expressing what I feel.
I do what I need to do, but then I allow myself to have fun.
It’s easy for me to feel guilty during this phase because I feel like I’m not doing enough. But I’ve learned to understand that I’m doing the best I can.
It’s another example of getting trapped in the narrative I tell myself.
I am who I am. I’m doing what I can do. That’s enough.
And right now, it means doing less.
