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Standing up for yourself can feel daunting, especially if you’re more inclined to avoid conflict. For many, asserting their needs and boundaries doesn’t come naturally — it might even seem like an impossible task. Perhaps you’ve found yourself going along with others to maintain peace, swallowing your own thoughts and feelings in the process. Yet, accommodating everyone else often leaves a bitter taste of resentment. It’s a struggle of feeling overlooked and undervalued, wondering why your needs aren’t understood without having to voice them aloud. You know what – it’s okay if everyone doesn’t agree with you. You are better off without those who disrespect you. Here’s where #emotionalintelligence (EI) steps in, giving you the strength and skills to advocate for yourself without feeling like you’re stepping on toes.

Relatable Struggles

Standing up for yourself can feel daunting for many reasons. You might fear rejection or anger if you don’t give in to others’ needs, or the thought of asserting yourself fills you with dread. Sometimes, the words are stuck inside, only coming out later in bursts of anger and frustration. You might prefer to play second fiddle, overcommit yourself at work, or feel lost and directionless. Avoiding confrontation at all costs, feeling guilty when you do stand up for yourself, and being a people-pleaser are common struggles.

The Empathy Balance

Empathy is a cornerstone of EI, and while it helps you understand others, it doesn’t mean letting yourself get trampled or disrespected – rather it is a balance between respecting yourself and others. For instance, if someone offers support and then later makes you feel belittled or eternally indebted, EI can help you address this. Instead of feeling hurt and remaining silent, you can express your feelings calmly: “I appreciate your help, but it makes me uncomfortable when it feels like I should be eternally grateful or that you believe you can talk down to me.” Of course, there is a possibility that the person might make you feel guilty for this too – march on irrespective!

Know Yourself to Stand Up for Yourself

Self-awareness, another key part of EI, is your inner compass. It helps you pinpoint what truly bothers you. When you’re aware of your feelings, you can address them directly. Recognizing the frustration, building up from being dismissed or overlooked, is the first step to speaking up: “I feel unappreciated when my efforts are ignored, and I’d like to talk about how we can change that.”

Keep Your Cool Under Pressure

Self-regulation keeps your emotions in check so you don’t lash out or shut down. It’s the ability to stay calm and composed, even in stressful situations. Instead of reacting impulsively when someone crosses a boundary, you can say, “I understand you’re upset, but we need to discuss this respectfully.”

Build Stronger Connections

Good social skills, boosted by EI, are your secret weapon in tough conversations. They help you articulate your thoughts clearly and to listen actively. Whether it’s addressing a friend who constantly interrupts or setting boundaries with a family member, or a work associate who behaves disrespectfully, clear communication fosters stronger, more respectful relationships. If the person is offended by your assertion, he or she clearly doesn’t deserve your time. Let go!

Confidence Through Small Wins

Motivation driven by EI keeps you focused on your goals. Celebrate small victories by standing up for yourself. Each time you successfully assert your needs, your confidence grows. Whether it’s asking a friend to respect your time or saying no to an unreasonable request or refusing to allow someone to disrespect you, these small wins build-up, reinforcing your ability to advocate for yourself.

In Conclusion

Emotional intelligence isn’t just about understanding others – it’s about empowering yourself. By harnessing EI, you can navigate the tricky waters of standing up for yourself with empathy, clarity, and confidence. Remember, your voice matters, and with EI, you can ensure it’s heard most respectfully and effectively.


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